not all about change...

Sometimes...it's not all about change. It's not always the best move to start over. Sometimes, you have to look at where you are, and pick up where you left off. Sometimes... you have to work on what you already have and keep adding on to it until it becomes something you always wanted it to be. Sometimes, even when you think your cup is full, you just have to keep on trying and see how much you can put in there just to test your limits. And then, when you are satisfied with what you have, you just take it all in.... slowly... and savor the moment that you finally got what you are looking for.... Yes, that's how life is like... but I was talking about my HALO-HALO!!!!! It is so hard to make one!!!!

my music...

funny how movies can make you think in more ways you think it could make you... so..needless to say...i was watching a movie.... and 1of the main characters said "your music is the one thing you can always come back to and make everything go away" (alright movie buffs, go ahead and cast your guesses in). And you know what, it made me miss my music... I miss my guitar...I miss my days when I just shut everything out and rock out inside my room..music blasting and I'm singing along without a care for the world.. no worries about neighbors complaining... no worries about people close not liking the particular choice of my music at the moment... I miss jamming outside at the front of our house with my friends singing whatever song we could think of and know how to play... I miss listening to the radio with my guitar figuring out the chords and how to play a certain song... I miss setting up the gears and sets for a jamming session... I miss the pain I felt on the tip of my fingers for playing my guitar for so long.... I miss being disappointed because I broke a string and could not find a replacement and would have to wait till the next day to buy a new one... I miss being excited to go home and practice a song I heard on the way home... I miss making my own tunes and playing it for my friends and those I know would appreciate the music... I miss playing and singing along with my sisters... I miss my music.... the one thing I could go back to... is gone... i sure do hope I can bring it back....

restructure

Who would have thought that almost a whole year have passed by without making a single entry. So, I decided, it is time to restructure. Just like most of the companies do lately due to the economy, I will restructure my life and reevaluate the gains and the losses and make successful plans for the future. I am sure it sounds so much easier said than done, but it needs to be done.

so... please stand by... for the restructuring.... hopefully sooner... not by my standards...

"ungloomy"

Ok... since my last entry was... well... gloomy... I would like to make this one.... well... "ungloomy". I have come to the realization, thanks to a special someone (and no tome of sarcasm there, I am really thankful) that I have been left behind. Left behind by time, technology, my own thoughts and actions. My mind runs at 120mph and I haven't had the time to update myself, my being and my productivity. I was told that I have many great ideas, and I do, but I never see them to completion. It's like I am already satisfied with just coming out of the idea, which, for obvious reasons, should not be the case. But hey, if it was that easy to do, then there wouldn't be any need for this dilemma wouldn't we? You see, the problem is, I seem not to follow my own advice. Maybe just like any body else? Why is it so hard for a person to follow their own advice? Isn't that the usual problem? You always know what to say to other people on the exact same situation that you might b going through yourself but you can't really take your own advice for it. Is it because the reality of the risk imposed is onto us and not to others? Is it because we know that if we fail we have no one else to blame but ourselves? Is it because it is hard to accept that your own advice was a failure? Or is it because we do not really know what life is all about?
I kinda think I just answered my own questions. Either way, I am going to slow down my mind and update myself, and maybe see my ideas come to completion.

better than me....

I would like to think that I am good at what I do and that I do a better job than most people... but I guess some people are just better than me. I recently had an interview for a part-time desktop publishing job... was supposed to get a call back yesterday, Friday. Well... today is Saturday. I guess you could say that the phone call never happened. It's a little bit frustrating to think that they found someone better for a part-time desktop publishing job. That is like one of the lowest for-experience or for-resume type of graphic job a person can get, and yet.. apparently... I still wasn't good enough. Someone was still better than me. It is now September. I've been to a few interviews, from different places (actually states) and different positions. Sent out a lot of resumes, probably close to thirty... filled out multiple applications on-line or in paper at the office... updated my portfolio and email samples for those who required them... rewritten (or tweaked is a better term) my "CV" a few times to meet certain requirements... and yet... somehow... a person, somehow, better than me... applied for the same job and apparently.. hired (since I was not). I would like to think that I am a hard worker, a skilled worker... a "better than me" type. People say I should try harder... some people say maybe it is just not meant to be. I just hate the fact that it somehow seems that I am not better than anybody.... I want the time to come when some one will write an anonymous blog or even think quietly... in their own thoughts... about me... a person better than them.

sheesshhh..

that was long...
good luck reading....

okay.. what should we do today?

Oh Dayng!!!!
April... May... June... July... August... almost September....
Talk about a lag... ahahahahaha!!!!! Days literally became weeks that literally became months! Story of my life... but hey, now is better than never. And I am back and I am ticking... tick.. tick... tick.. boom!!!!
Doesn't make sense? Well, it's not supposed to. It just so happens that I was listening to that song right at that moment. I guess that's how my life has been lately, taking in what the right then moment gives me. Actually gets a little tiring... correction.. have gotten tiring. Hence, the blogging, something that breaks my normal (or abnormal) everyday unaccomplished-ness (i just made a word, another accomplishment). But it is true, lately I have been fluctuating with accomplished and non-accomplished days. Which has been better than most (meaning the months of unaccomplished-ness) there's the word again (it's catching on to me)!
Let's take today for example, I finally got my car ready for inspection (via taking my so called illegal reflective tint... toothbrushing the adhesive off the glass.. yes i used an old toothbrush... and covering my rear signal lights with a red grocery bag so they are not plain white) and then got my car to the inspection site to finally get my inspection sticker renewed (duh jeck! what else do you do at the inspection site) "duh, side thought... fail the inspection of course like what happened the first time that's why I had to do all those things i just said". But like i said, I finally got it renewed. 2 more graceful years for my dear sunshine (that is the name of my 11 year old car, by the way). And then..... I got an express lube job (oil change.. ehem) with a high-mileage synthetic oil and I thank my dear wifey for patiently waiting with me through both processes. Got home, took a shower and then headed off to Frenchtown, New Jersey (Home of the "two buttons" warehouse/store) with Len, my sister. my wife and my unstoppable nephew. Visit them at www.twobuttons.com. You really should, everything there is so touching. According to my sister, she learned about the place form this author of eat,pray,love. Honestly, I have never heard of the book but after seeing the store and hearing the stories now I want to read it too! Took some very interesting pictures at the store (reviving my artistic side). And then... we decided to go around the town before heading home. Not too far from the two buttons store was the amazing town central. It was very old english, full of character and nice people. Then we crossed the frenchtown bridge to Pennnnnnnnnnssylvania! With the Delaware river underneath, I felt so surreal even though it was just a bridge. I just never thought of going around doing things on my normal day off from work. Thanks to my sister, my day was.. well... delightfully different. (notice the eloquence?). Had an Ice cream at a cafe, took some pictures and then stopped by a farm market on the way home. Grabbed some Sweet Jersey Corn (which by the way are the best!!!!) took some more pictures with my fun-filled nephew and then finally headed home after he got scared of the rain (for some reason he is still afraid of the rain). On the way home, we saw my brother's van at the golf course, I thought maybe he was at the driving range which can be seen from the parking lot so i decided to drive by and maybe say hi and put my nephew's hope of seeing his dad way high that when we found out that he was actually at the course playing and cannot be seen from the parking lot, my nephew started crying uncontrollably (is that a word? that i would be ashamed of inventing) and inconsolably (another one).. Finally found a way to make him feel better when finally got home and he saw his mom. Went out again to buy dinner (popeyes.. sorry dad) had dinner with the family and spent some quality time with my wifey and went online to do some much needed research and then this! booyah!!!! one very accomplished day... so tomorrow.. i am going to start my day with my nephew's famous phrase... "Okay, What should we do today?"