"ungloomy"

Ok... since my last entry was... well... gloomy... I would like to make this one.... well... "ungloomy". I have come to the realization, thanks to a special someone (and no tome of sarcasm there, I am really thankful) that I have been left behind. Left behind by time, technology, my own thoughts and actions. My mind runs at 120mph and I haven't had the time to update myself, my being and my productivity. I was told that I have many great ideas, and I do, but I never see them to completion. It's like I am already satisfied with just coming out of the idea, which, for obvious reasons, should not be the case. But hey, if it was that easy to do, then there wouldn't be any need for this dilemma wouldn't we? You see, the problem is, I seem not to follow my own advice. Maybe just like any body else? Why is it so hard for a person to follow their own advice? Isn't that the usual problem? You always know what to say to other people on the exact same situation that you might b going through yourself but you can't really take your own advice for it. Is it because the reality of the risk imposed is onto us and not to others? Is it because we know that if we fail we have no one else to blame but ourselves? Is it because it is hard to accept that your own advice was a failure? Or is it because we do not really know what life is all about?
I kinda think I just answered my own questions. Either way, I am going to slow down my mind and update myself, and maybe see my ideas come to completion.

better than me....

I would like to think that I am good at what I do and that I do a better job than most people... but I guess some people are just better than me. I recently had an interview for a part-time desktop publishing job... was supposed to get a call back yesterday, Friday. Well... today is Saturday. I guess you could say that the phone call never happened. It's a little bit frustrating to think that they found someone better for a part-time desktop publishing job. That is like one of the lowest for-experience or for-resume type of graphic job a person can get, and yet.. apparently... I still wasn't good enough. Someone was still better than me. It is now September. I've been to a few interviews, from different places (actually states) and different positions. Sent out a lot of resumes, probably close to thirty... filled out multiple applications on-line or in paper at the office... updated my portfolio and email samples for those who required them... rewritten (or tweaked is a better term) my "CV" a few times to meet certain requirements... and yet... somehow... a person, somehow, better than me... applied for the same job and apparently.. hired (since I was not). I would like to think that I am a hard worker, a skilled worker... a "better than me" type. People say I should try harder... some people say maybe it is just not meant to be. I just hate the fact that it somehow seems that I am not better than anybody.... I want the time to come when some one will write an anonymous blog or even think quietly... in their own thoughts... about me... a person better than them.